Overexposed

Athens, Ohio, home of Ohio University, was celebrating alumni weekend. I had just dropped off a prisoner at the county jail and was back out on patrol when I stopped at a traffic light on the main drag in town. Five naked bicycle riders passed right in front of me past a cheering college crowd that lined the streets. It was radio silence as I called in that I would be in pursuit of five naked bicyclists. As I got behind them, overhead lights on, the group split up, scattering down alleys and side streets. That is, except one who continued his path down through the cheering crowd, peddling his legs as fast as he could, with me and my flashing lights close behind. At the end of this steet was a T-intersection with a store directly ahead. The nude rider went for the store parking lot which was slick with light rain. Moments later, the bike slid out from under him and his bare butt went sliding across the asphalt. He jumped up and started to run. But when he saw me jump out of the cruiser, he stopped, looking dejected.

"Busted," he said as I approached him. I cuffed him and stuffed him (yes, he was a drunk alumnus) and took him off to jail. As I marched him into the jail, the female corrections officer was sitting at her desk doing paperwork.

Without looking up she said, "What did you bring me this time?"

As I stood the embarassed guy in front of her she looked up eye-to-eye with his "nakedness" and exclaimed, "Oh my..."

Lt. Dave Williams
Athens Police Department
Athens, OH