Flight of the Intruder

I was on patrol with the Gulfport, MS Police Department and working the evening shift. I was driving my patrol car down one of our dimly-lit country roads soaking up the scenery. Since it was the fall, I had my windows down all the way enjoying the lower temperatures after a blistering summer. There wasn't a whole lot of traffic on the radio so I kicked back in cruise mode listening to a local radio station.

Suddenly I heard something hit the top of my passenger doorframe and land in my back seat. At first I thought that someone was throwing eggs from the woods at random passing motorists. However, I was soon startled when I heard something moving around in my back seat. I looked in my rearview mirror to see what was in my car. Just as I was getting a good look I saw two feathered wings and they began to wrap around my face. I was still driving down the road when whatever this was managed to wrap it's wings around my face as if someone was covering my eyes with their hands. I also felt something clawing on the back of my neck. I couldn't see a thing so I slammed on my brakes and knocked whatever it was off my head into the back seat with my hand. After stopping my car in the middle of the roadway, I exited like I was running with the bulls in Spain.

There I was, stopped in the middle of the road, holding up traffic, with "something" in the back of my car. With gun drawn and flashlight on I cautiously approached the back of my car to identify this assailant. When the back seat was clearly lit I could see an owl that had latched itself to the roof and was hanging upside down. We stood there looking at each other, and judging by the look in his eyes, it appeared that he planned on keeping my patrol car to himself. By now several of the citizens that I had blocked got out of their cars to see what the holdup on the road was. Everyone got a good laugh to see a police officer driven out of his patrol car by a bird. I had to wait for another officer to arrive at my location because I knew this was unbelievable. Once everyone took their pictures and pot shots at me I put on some puncture-resistant gloves and captured the flying intruder.

After capture, the owl and I had an eventful ride to the animal shelter. I thought I would be able to hold him with one hand while I drove about two miles down the road. Well, since Murphy's Law applies to police officers, I got firsthand experience in dealing with an angry owl that wished to resist arrest. While I was driving, he managed to get loose and began flying around the passenger compartment of my patrol car. I had already rolled all my windows up to keep him from flying out so he just flew around in circles and jumped from seat to seat. This happened when I was in heavy traffic and couldn't stop as I had previously. Besides, I wasn't about to give my car up to this bird again. So I continued down the road looking like a chicken farmer. For obvious reasons, several motorists gave me strange looks as my new partner and I drove down the road. I reached the shelter and said goodbye and good riddance to the owl after I had to chase my evasive intruder around my car once again.

It seemed the experience with the owl jinxed the rest of my workweek. The following day I had to use my raincoat to catch an angry goose and then give him a ride in my trunk, but that is a different story altogether.

Jeffrey P. Necaise
Patrol Sergeant
Gulfport Police Dept.
McHenry, MS